


The Price of Fame

by nommonkeypie



Category: Block B
Genre: M/M, Soulmate AU, Suicide, TW: Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 22:17:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19282285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nommonkeypie/pseuds/nommonkeypie
Summary: In a world where people only age when they're involved with their soulmate, what happens to someone who doesn't want to let fate stop them? To someone who would rather live alone forever and be the best? And what happens when fate doesn't want to accept this idea?





	The Price of Fame

**Author's Note:**

> There is suicide/suicide attempts in here. It is not a pretty story. If you're looking for something warm and fuzzy, check out a different story. You won't find those things here.

Woo Jiho felt like he was going to puke. Could he really do this? Was this something he was really going to do? He looked at his best friend, the guy who had literally been his side every day since they’d first started school. Kyung looked so peaceful. He was smiling as he dreamed something nice and sweet.

Jiho didn’t want to do this. He knew there was still time to back out but then again, he know it was far too late. He’d made his decision earlier when he’d crushed up those sleeping pills and put them in Kyung’s drink. It just hurt to know that he wouldn’t have Kyung around anymore.

Park Kyung had to die. It sucked because Jiho really liked how fun and easy and perfect Kyung was. He was cute and funny and smart and handsome and perfect in every way. Jiho couldn’t help the fluttering inside him whenever he heard Kyung laugh. He loved that warm, safe feeling Kyung’s smile gave him. But all of that? It was why Kyung had to die.

It had taken Jiho some time to realize who Kyung was. They’d grown up together, literally meeting on their very first day of school. Almost instantly, they’d become best friends much to Kyung’s family’s dismay and Jiho’s family’s amusement. Kyung’s family weren’t exactly fans of how music was Jiho’s life (and thus had become Kyung’s). Jiho’s mother rather liked how Kyung made Jiho realize the importance of an education. The two of them balanced each other perfectly though. Jiho kept Kyung’s spirit light and airy, teaching him how to live life to its fullest. Kyung kept Jiho grounded, reminding him that there was a thing called reality.

Jiho couldn’t imagine a world without Kyung. As long as he’d been alive, Kyung had been there. He was going to have to learn how to get by in a Park Kyung-less world though because Kyung was going to die. It sucked and Jiho hated it. He’d never thought he’d be put in this position but then Jiho didn’t think he’d find his soulmate so young. And unfortunately, because he found his soulmate, that meant Jiho was going to die. Yes, it wouldn’t be an immediate death but Jiho would grow old and die in short timespan. He wouldn’t have the decades of searching like he’d always dreamed. He wouldn’t have the extra life nature granted him to build an unstoppable career.

All his life, Jiho had dreamed of living forever. He wouldn’t find his soulmate and he’d have an eternity to create all the songs in his head. And Kyung supported that dream. Hell, he and Kyung had talked about all the stuff they’d do together, all the success they’d have and how amazing life would be as they both lived until life brought them their soulmates. The only problem was that whenever Jiho looked at Kyung, he saw a different path his life might take.

A life where Jiho was happy to curl up in bed, just watching Kyung sleep. He could see a home for the two of them, a dog. Maybe they’d even get lucky and be able to adopt a child though given how rare children were, he doubted that. A life where Jiho would continue to age until he died. It was a life where music wasn’t the center of Jiho’s life. One where people wouldn’t scream his name every time he walked onto a stage. And surprisingly it was a life that Jiho wanted. He wanted it so badly. It whispered the ‘what-ifs’ in his ears each night as he slept. And that was why Kyung had to die.

Kyung was his soulmate, a fact that Jiho loved and hated all at the same time. Jiho knew how lucky he was. There were people who’d spent years and years, even decades, searching for their soulmate. And Jiho had known his since before he’d even started puberty. He hadn’t even realized he’d continued to grow and mature, that he wasn’t frozen like Taewoon, until recently. He’d spent so many years with Kyung and could have so many more with him. But if Jiho took that path, he’d miss out on the opportunity that others got which was an extended life of him in his prime.

Kyung was sleeping deeply and peacefully. He looked so soft and precious. Jiho really didn’t want to do this. But then he closed his eyes, heard the people chanting his name, saw the words ‘sold out’ next to his name. If he let Kyung live, Jiho knew he’d never have the drive to go nearly as far. With Kyung, it’d be too easy to give up when things got hard. He’d let himself get comfortable in all the worst ways.

He set the pillow on top of Kyung’s face and held it there. Jiho bit back the tears that stung his eyes, refusing to let them fall. He couldn’t let himself feel guilty about this. He had his dreams, the stuff in his life that he wanted (NEEDED) to do. He had to think about those. This was why he’d drugged Kyung. He wanted Kyung so deeply asleep that he just slept and slept and never woke up.

Kyung never even stirred. And when Jiho took the pillow away, Kyung looked exactly the same. It was scary how normal Kyung looked but that was kind of the point. This couldn’t look like a murder. This had to look normal, that Kyung had just stopped living. The next step was simple. Roll Kyung onto his stomach. Then came the hard part. Jiho hadn’t thought this part would be so hard but now that he was faced with it, the task he had to do next felt almost impossible.

He climbed into bed next to Kyung and curled up. His heart was pounding in his ears and throat, drowning out all other sounds. This had to look as natural as possible. He couldn’t be found out. The sleeping pill part would be suspicious but not entirely. Kyung had trouble sleeping at times and took them occasionally. Jiho just had to sleep, or at least pretend to sleep. They had slept together in bed a million times before. It’d started when they were kids and as they’d grown up, as they’d fallen naturally into each other, it’d only seemed right to sleep together. And until now, Jiho had never had a problem with it. But then, he’d never slept in the same bed as a dead body before.

All hell broke loose a few hours later when Jiho “woke up”. He’d been unable to sleep but that hadn’t been any sort of surprise. He was afraid to close his eyes. Afraid that if he did do that, he’d have Kyung haunting him, taunting him.  
-  
It was a tragedy. A life cut so short in such a tragic way, his death coming too easily by a bad combination. Two families, his own and his best friend’s, mourned deeply at the loss of the boy they’d each called their own. Park Kyung’s mother clung to his best friend, Woo Jiho, who just seemed to be in shock. It was no surprise he was shocked since he’d been the one to find his best friend dead in bed next to him.

And life went on, no one the wiser that the one they all comforted was the reason behind the death they all mourned.

-

As he sat in the chair, grinning at the singer sitting next to him who was currently getting a rose of Sharon tattoo that was damn near a perfect match to Jiho’s own, it hit him. Jiho couldn’t remember why they’d decided to get tattoos but that didn’t matter. Not as much as his realization mattered.

Jiho was HAPPY. And that was a bad thing. It’d been just over two decades since Kyung. Twenty-one years of fight and pain and the start of something that might be called success. In a world where people didn’t age unless they were with their soulmate, it was hard to succeed in music. Too many people lived for too long, had careers that could literally span lifetimes. But Jiho had done it. He had his name and he was getting to the point where he wasn’t having to constantly worry.

Then he’d been introduced to Taeil. A new singer with an amazing voice. That was all the introduction Jiho remembered getting when he’d met the singer a few months ago. They’d hit it off instantly. It probably helped that despite Taeil’s classical singing training, the guy was the craziest damn person Jiho had ever met.

Stay up for three days straight, working in the studio? Taeil was your man. All night drinking party? Taeil. New tattoo? Taeil.

That was probably why Jiho had let himself get so close to Taeil. They had FUN when they were together. Taeil was a distraction.

And that was also why Taeil had to go.

Jiho knew he should be bothered by the thought. After all, that thought meant one simple thing. It meant that for Jiho to keep living as he was, eternally young and in the best moment of his life, Taeil would need to die. Kyung hadn’t died just to buy Jiho a couple extra decades.

Jiho knew himself though. He knew he couldn’t get his hands dirty with Taeil’s blood. For one, they were too tied together. Everyone knew how close he was to Taeil. But that didn’t mean that Jiho was out of options.  
He felt almost evil as he set the pieces in motion. A few words here and a few there. The right information in the wrong hands. All he had to do after that was wait.

The newspapers and tabloids reported every bloody detail. They told the story of how the crazy Park Minseok, a fan so obsessed that he let it take over his life. How he waited for Taeil one night outside the singer’s apartment. How he forced his way in and held the singer hostage for two days. How he used a knife found in the singer’s apartment to injure Taeil and how that injury ended up being fatal and then how the crazed young man used the same knife to take his own life. Every detail, no matter how gory and inappropriate it might be, was reported.

Jiho couldn’t help but notice the acne issues he’d been having had stopped after that incident. And while he was devastated that the person who had made his life so bright and fun and happy was gone, Jiho knew it was for the best.

Taeil was gone but Jiho...Jiho would LIVE.

\---

From the very first moment he laid eyes on Yukwon, Jiho knew that he was in trouble. He had no reason to justify the thought but Jiho knew it like he knew he needed to breathe air.

Yukwon was beauty and grace. He looked like an angel, had the mind of a devil, and danced like sin incarnate. Maybe that’s why Jiho knew the guy was going to hurt him. Or maybe it was the way that Jiho felt pulled to Yukwon. He couldn’t get enough of him. The guy was like a drug, totally addicting.

That addiction blinded Jiho for some time. He actually let himself love Yukwon for years, a treat he’d never allowed himself before. That love, the happiness he felt when Yukwon was near, it didn’t mean that he loved Yukwon more than he’d loved Kyung or Taeil. Just the opposite if Jiho allowed himself to be honest with himself. He let himself love Yukwon because he hadn’t let himself fully love Kyung and Taeil. He was trying to love them, have them, through Yukwon.

Jiho knew he was older now. He’d was nearing eighty years, a nice respectable age. Physically he looked closer to his mid-twenties. Maybe age had mellowed him? Calmed the desire to be the greatest star ever? He thought that maybe that was why he let himself love Yukwon. He had the fame, the stardom, that he’d dreamt of.

The world came crashing down around him when he found the gray hair. It was just a single strand. It should mean nothing. He KNEW that. And yet, all it did was bring the dull fire of his desire back to life. His need to be greater than anyone else almost brought Jiho to his knees.

He was reluctant to kill Yukwon. He’d allowed himself to love Yukwon in a way that he’d denied himself before and that turned into a reluctance. He knew the man better though and knew what would drive him to the edge.

“Kim Yukwon danced his way through life,” they said at his funeral. “He was never one for sitting still long.”

“He never recovered from that accident, did he?” They asked.

The response was solemn. “No,” they answered, “he never did. It killed him long before anything else.”

Jiho just sat there, listening, receiving the sorrow-filled messages as everyone grieved. He failed to mention that he’d been the one who set up the circumstances for that horrible accident. He’d never tell anyone about that.

A slip. A fall. He’d never walk again, that’s what the doctors told Yukwon. At first, he seemed to accept the news but time ate at him like Jiho knew it would. Yukwon tried but spending his days confined, only allowed to sit and stare at life pass him by got to him.

The blood still wasn’t on Jiho’s hands. He never actually harmed Yukwon. But this time, unlike the incident with Taeil, it got to him. He knew there wasn’t blood on him and yet he didn’t feel like an innocent bystander either.

\---

After Yukwon, Jiho took a break. He put himself on a hiatus. He needed to grieve. At least, that’s what he told everyone who asked. And they seemed to understand. The relationship with Yukwon had never been a secret.

Jiho didn’t want to admit it but he was starting to feel old. His birthday, his 135th, was nearing and he was getting tired. He knew he didn’t look old but he was getting older.

Minhyuk was an unexpected breeze that flew into his life. He was a normal guy. He didn’t care about music or anything to do with entertainment. He owned a couple of coffee shops and played with his cat.

They met at a mutual acquaintance’s party. They didn’t seek each other out. Instead, they just sort of drifted to each other. Minhyuk asked to dance. They swayed the night away.

He was clean lines and coffee. Minimal but not simple. Jiho marveled in how different the man was from the others he’d entangled himself in. They’d been passion and a burning fire. Minhyuk was ice and escape.

Kissing Minhyuk was enough to let Jiho forget about the others. When he was with the man, Jiho didn’t feel like he was betraying them. All he felt was a calming peace that left him feeling content with life. And for once, Jiho started to think that maybe he could be okay with this life, with growing old with Minhyuk.

The faint hint of wrinkles forming around his eyes was a shock. In that instant, Jiho finally understood how ice could be as painful as fire. Because he knew he couldn’t let things end here. With Minhyuk. If he gave up and let himself get old now, he was betraying the three who’d been sacrificed.

Minhyuk’s blood was scalding hot. Jiho felt like he was physically being burnt as the blood fell on his hands. He also knew that his hands would never be clean again, if they’d ever been clean at all.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured to Minhyuk. Not that the man heard the words. The light in his eyes was already gone.

The official story when it came out was that Minhyuk had been the victim of a mugging gone wrong. He’d been caught in a dark section of a park near one of his coffee shops. There were no cameras, no one saw anything, and the knife was never found.

Jiho joined everyone in mourning. “I think I’m cursed,” he jokingly said when others started to notice the pile of bodies that littered his personal life. And that seemed to satisfy the questioning glances and suspicious comments.

\---

Jihoon was a mistake. He came barrelling into Jiho’s life, barely considered an adult. He was so young and vibrant and full of life. And when Jiho was around him, the heavy blanket of burden Jiho wore was lifted. He loved Jihoon but even more than that, he cherished Jihoon.

Age had definitely changed Jiho. His 200th birthday had come and gone. He’d lived so long. Before he met Jihoon, he’d started to wonder why he’d let himself get to old.

His career was functionally over. After Minhyuk, people started to pull away from Jiho. No one pointed any fingers but there were just too many bodies. A rumor went around the industry: ‘get close to Woo Jiho and risk your life’. Sure, sometimes Jiho would work on a project but he mostly kept to roles where he was behind the scenes.

Being around Jihoon, Jiho felt as if it were okay to let this be the end. Let Jihoon be the last one he let himself love. Jihoon made him feel so young and carefree. Jihoon might not be perfect but that just made him even better. He was interesting and his view of the world was different. He saw everything and everyone with fresh eyes.  
The magic couldn’t last forever. Jiho was deluding himself when he thought the universe would let him keep his happiness. He’d done too much evil, scorned his fate too many times. Of course the world wouldn’t let him keep his happiness. Those were the thoughts running through Jiho’s head as he sat in the hospital, waiting for news about Jihoon.

The brake lines had been cut. Jihoon was driving downhill and couldn’t stop at the intersection. A truck, unable to stop itself, hit the car and it crunched into a tree.

“We did everything we could,” he heard the doctors tell Jihoon’s family. Jiho was too numb to process the words at first. “-en he came in, it was too late.” Words like “critical condition” and “cardiac arrest on the operating table” floated around Jiho but it would take a few days for the numbness to wear off and for the reality of them to sink in.

\---

After Jihoon, he really did leave entertainment. Jiho couldn’t handle the looks anymore. They all blamed his death on Jiho. No one could figure out who or how the brake lines on the guy’s car had gotten cut but too many fingers pointed at Jiho. The police investigated and found nothing. They couldn’t tie Jihoon’s death to Jiho even though they really did try.

The funniest part? Of all the deaths Jiho had been involved in, Jihoon’s was the one where he really was entirely innocent. And maybe that’s what had made all the accusations so hard to bear. Of all the deaths they could have blamed him for, they picked the one he hadn’t done. He thought that maybe if they’d pointed fingers about the others, used a different person, he could have handled it better.

Jiho moved away from Seoul. It was too full of bad memories, blood, and pain. He had money and time so he traveled. He went as far away as he could get. If he could run away, maybe he could outrun them all. Kyung’s face, so peaceful in his deathly slumber. Taeil’s panicked voice message. The look of defeat in Yukwon’s eyes. The feeling of fire as Minhyuk’s blood burnt his hands. Jihoon’s booming laugh. Coffee. Playing at the park. The pleasure and pain of a needle biting into his skin. Late nights spent exploring.

He couldn’t escape them.

Jiho wasn’t sure where he was. He knew he was far from his homeland. He’d come seeking peace but this place just made him feel even more alone. A beach spread out around him but it was too cold to swim so few people were around.

Looking at the water, Jiho wondered why the universe hadn’t taken its revenge on him yet. Why he was still around. Then he realized the answer was staring him in the face. He was still alive so that he could suffer. He’d taken so much life, and the lives had been of those who meant the most to him, letting him die would be the easy thing for the universe.

He walked towards the water. Would he see them again if he died? That curiosity drove Jiho to keep walking forward. He didn’t even notice the water, freezing cold on his legs, as it came up to his knees.

A hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“Hey, let’s go back to shore,” a voice Jiho didn’t recognize said. The tone made it clear that the person knew that he’d caught Jiho at a very dark moment. That he knew what Jiho had been about to do.

But the voice...it was warm. Soft. Hearing it made Jiho feel like he was home. Turning to look at the speaker, Jiho felt an odd sense of familiarity.

“Have we met?” The young man asked, confusion scribbled across his face as he looked at Jiho.

“No,” Jiho answered. He would have remembered meeting this person. It was hard to forget the feelings he had right now. He recognized them immediately and by extension, who this person must be.

He let the stranger lead him to shore. “I feel like I’ve met you before,” the guy said as they reached the beach. “Have you been here long?”

Jiho almost laughed. “Good question,” he answered when the guy gave him a look. He hadn’t been in this area long, just over a week. But he’d been alive for far too long. And he couldn’t lie to this person.

“I just arrived in the area last week,” Jiho said as the stranger gave him a questioning look. He already knew who this person was and decided he might as well get it over with. “My name’s Jiho.”

“Jaehyo,” the guy answered. “If you don’t mind, can we go that way?” He pointed to a bag that looked like it’d been thrown on the sand. “It’s my stuff and I’d be really upset if someone took my camera.”

Jiho gave a little nod. “Camera?”

Jaehyo nodded. “Yeah. I’m working for a travel company. Writing and taking pictures for them.” He wouldn’t stop staring at Jiho. It was like he couldn’t. That was a feeling Jiho knew all too well. He’d experienced this same thing before but he didn’t say it.

“Why do you seem so familiar?” Jaehyo practically whined as they walked up the beach. “I feel like I’m supposed to know you.”  
He felt impossibly old as he looked at Jaehyo’s face. The guy was young, though not quite as young as Jihoon had felt. He was handsome. And his life was about to be ruined.

“Every soulmate I’ve ever had has died,” Jiho said instead. “Some by my hand, some by their own, and some by another’s. But in the end, all of them have died.”

That got the confusion on Jaehyo’s face to turn into something else. Something more akin to shock or maybe just plain surprise. That was clearly not what he’d expected to hear from Jiho. The older didn’t say anything else. He just let Jaehyo try to figure it out from there.

Jaehyo was a bright guy because he figured it out fairly fast. Faster than Jiho expected. “You think you’re my soulmate?” He sounded like he wanted to laugh at how crazy that was.

Jiho shrugged. He recognized this experience. “I’ve had five already,” he said instead. “And they’ve all died.”

“You mentioned that already,” Jaehyo pointed out. “Is that-?”

He didn’t have to finish the question “I think so,” Jiho replied, not letting Jaehyo ask it. He smiled but he doubted it was a happy smile. Not when the thoughts were so painful. “I spent my life running away from fate. Then when I was ready to accept things, Jihoon was ripped from me and left everything all broken.”

A wince flashed across Jaehyo’s face. “How long?”

“It was about 50 years ago. In Seoul.” Jiho shook his head. “I left after that. Too many people thought it was me.”

“And was it?”

Jiho closed his eyes and shook his head. “No. Not him. I didn’t hurt him.” The unspoken ‘but I did hurt the others’ was loud in Jiho’s own ears.

Jaehyo looked at him like the guy was evaluating Jiho. Then he smiled. “I honestly think you’re crazy,” he started, “but I’m curious to hear more. Want to catch a bite to eat?”

This guy was crazy himself or too trusting. Either way, Jiho felt himself melt a little at the smile. He nodded. He had some time. As much as Jaehyo did anyways. And it felt right to talk about the others. Maybe...maybe this time, things would actually work. Jiho figured it was worth a shot. Maybe the universe had finally decided to stop torturing him.


End file.
